The Grand Finale

After his "Great Escape" we invite the leader of the Real Ira, David Boyd to give his prediciton for The Final match ups of an eventful season...

Gameweek XXXVII Predictions:

 Kamikaze Pigeons (1) v   (2) Welsh Galacticos 

The Galacticos Leicester contingent should have enough about them to see off a struggling Everton side, with Vardy’s return possibly geting the party into full swing at the King Power. The Pigeons have several in form players, with Townsend and Sanchez starting to hit their stride towards the business end of the season. Carroll is unlikely to have as much joy against Smalling et al as he did vs the Gunners, which paired with the suspension of Alli could see a reliance on the defensive prowess of Monreal, Oamendi, Baines, and Moreno relied upon to get the points.

Prediction: Welsh Galacticos

 Crouchys Nachos (11) v  (8) Culchie Blues 

The other end of the table sees a much tighter contest on paper. With the firepower on both teams (Ozil, Payet, Mata vs De Bruyne, Lallana, Martial, and Cech) both managers must surely wonder how it came to this. The Nachos striker partnership is tipped to have the beating of their Culchie opposite number, with Tony Martial looking to test the Hammers’ defence.  The abundance of players in both teams who still have a lot to play for ensures this will be anything but a low scoring round.

Prediction: Crouchys Nachos

Playoff Wild Card Round

Instead of predictions this week, I've got Uncle Paddy P. to draw up a book for the all important trophies up for grabs and this weeks fixtures....

Good luck to all and #Hardy4Commish

Before the Playoffs

In the last gameweek of ordinary time, we welcome Dr Breandan Hill (our very own Stato) who brings a unique insight into the draft. I'm making the Pigeons favourites to win the Draft now that the annual "Galactico Crumble" has commenced...

Culchie Blues v Kilkeel Canaries

      

Very little to play for here as Hardy has a playoff against the Wasps or Casimir tied up and I honestly doubt Forbsey gives two shits (too busy chasing tale and shaving his legs). He avoids a play-off for the loser bowl if he wins but to be honest, he probably won’t change his team and so I’ll have to go with Hardy for this one.

Canaries

Kamikaze Pigeons v FC Casimir

One of only 2 matches that actually matter this week. The Pigeons could sneak top if the Galacticos slip up against the Lamelas while Casimir need to win and also need a helping hand from a struggling Crouchy’s Nachos to make it into the playoffs. While they are the 2^nd highest scorers overall, Casimir have been up and down all year and rely too much on the Aguero/Kane strike force. With United and West Brom unlikely to ship too many and the Pigeons finally discovering how to score more than 40 points, I can’t see Casimir winning this one or making the play-off. I will however put Guzan in nets and make him my captain if Matt is willing to trade certain players!

Pigeons (Casimir if they trade me Kane)

AVB Beast v Belfast Benfica

With 4^th and 5^th tied up between them, this is simply a dry-run of the playoff next week. On current form, it’s hard to look past the Beasts for both games although the double week in week 34 could muck things up either way.

Beasts

Crouchys Nachos v Predatory Wasps

The main event of the week. If the Wasps win, no other results matter and Casimir go into the loser bowl. Despite winning the DC cup last week, 32 points is hardly tearing it up and with De Bruyne back from injury, the Wasps need a good showing for Lukaku against Watford to have any chance. Going to go with Wasps to lose but still make the play-offs.

Nachos

Welsh Galacticos v The Lovely Lamelas

Where, oh where have the Galacticos gone?!? Two wins in six and in serious danger of slipping to 2^nd in the league. Unfortunately for me, Leicester play Sunderland and I think the flooky wee welsh git will sneak through but the skin of his teeth. The Lovely Lamelas had neither a captain, vice-captain or even a Lamela on the pitch last week which makes me think Mike may be a bit MIA at the moment. The wee welsh git!

Galacticos

Real IRA v Van Gaal’s Gals

Both teams will be slugging it out in the loser bowl play-offs so nothing to play for here but pride. Therefore in lieu of predictions I thought I’d actually examine just how bad ‘dat midfield’ actually are. In 31 weeks (1 week of data missing from the site) they have scored 344 points from 132 players (yes, I did waste time counting but it was worth it to take the piss out of Philly) giving a return of 2.61 points per player per week. In 32 weeks his whole team has scored 1011 points for 352 players giving a return of 2.87 points per player per week. If we exclude his midfield all together he averaged 3.03 points per player per week.

Therefore maths has clearly shown that Philly’s midfield is pure shite.

Going one step slightly further, we thoughts we’d also compare ‘dat midfield’ to Philly’s bench each week (shown below). Also on a personal note, I’d like to say thank you for Pedro, who scored 36 in 19 games for you and 30 in 8 games for me. #Clueless

Van Gaal’s Gals

The Return of The Draft

YES the Premier League is back!!!

And so is The Fucking Draft!

What better way to whet your appetite for this weeks crucial fixtures (including the DC Cup final) than to drop into the mind of our leader and beloved Commish, Matthew Beaufort Nicholson. Take it away...

FC Casimir vs The Lovely Predakaze Galactico 2nds

Must win for FC Casimir otherwise making the playoffs look unlikely – and impossible if the Wasps win their respective match. Hardy’s team somehow keeps pulling out results out of their hat and has guaranteed a place in the playoffs. Kane & Aguero don’t look like they’ll stop scoring anytime soon though, and I don’t see Hardy scraping another win.

FC Casimir

Belfast Belfica vs Culchie Blues

Rollercoaster couple of months for Belfica, with them being one of the worst form teams in the league and looking in incredible danger to drop out of the playoffs. They’re back to winning ways though, and need just 1 point from the last 2 games to guarantee playing in the playoffs. Culchie Blues have really fallen by the wayside of recent weeks, and they’re not going to win this week either.

Belfica

Predatory Wasps vs Kamikaze Pigeons

Huge game here – Wasps could make the playoffs if they win and Casimir lose. Pigeons still in with a shout of snatching the League from the Galacticos, although it’s technically out of their hands. This one is close to call, but I’m going to go with the stronger team this season.

Pigeons

The Lovely Lamelas vs AVBeasts 2nds

A win in El Classico has planted the beasts in the playoffs for the first time this season (and credit where it’s due, what a El Classico it was too) – a win against the Lamelas will be a significant step in staying in the playoffs. Credit too to the Lamelas for driving away from the bottom and being one of the better teams this 2nd half of the season. Still, gotta back those high-flying Beasts.

Beasts

Van Gaal’s Gals vs Crouchy’s Nachos

Not much to say about this one, as both teams are confined to the Hardybowl Playoffs. Disappointing to see the Nachos falter. Hilarious to see Fabregas on the VGG bench. Dat midfield tho.

Nachos

Welsh Galacticos vs Real IRA

One win in the last two of these games will see the Galacticos take the League and the number 1 seed in the playoffs. Expect them to get that against an IRA team that hasn’t won in god knows how many matches.

Galacticos

DC Cup Final: Welsh Galacticos vs Predatory Wasps

Credit to the Wasps making it to the final in their first season, especially after the ridicule they received with their first pick. Egg on all our faces. I expect the Galacticos to win but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Wasps surprise me and take home the trophy.

Galacticos

McAuley's Time to Shine

Tricky Gameweek with FA cup fixtures, just when the race for the playoff spots are getting interesting...

Here's what everyone's favourite hipster had to say....

Wasps vs Benfica

A single point and a mere 4 Points Scored separate these two teams coming into this clash. With Captain Sturridge (very) well rested by now, Benfica must surely be gutted that the Liverpool-Chelsea game is postponed. Wasps manager Hasbean grinding out the results lately to maintain a chance of the Play Offs.

Wasps.

Lamelas vs Casimir

9 points and 131 Points Scored separate these two teams...

But the strong Liverpool/Chelsea backbone of Casimir are at home watching the FA Cup this week and not out scoring points.

Lamelas.

VGG vs Kilkeel

Kilkeel might be sitting snug at 3rd place, but there are only 3 teams who have fewer Points Scored. A lucky spell of wins must end? Meanwhile VGG have been doing everything except writing their goddamn thesis, finding the time to make an unprecedented triple transfer this week. Dat paper tho.

VGG

Galacticos vs Culchie Blues

The Welsh Dynasty feel unstoppable at the top of the table, 6 points clear, yet the same difference separates the Blues from a Top Half playoff spot. There's certainly nothing to be blue about for the Culchies. Rev thon tractr ther hi.

Blues

Crouchys Nachos vs Kamikaze Pigeons

Exactly. The. Same. Points. Scored.

Yet separated by a marathon distance in the table. Because they deserve it, heart (and stomach) wants Nachos. But in aid of an interesting fight to pole position and upsetting the bloody Dynasty...

Pigeons

AV Beasts 2nds vs Réal IRA

Beasts manager has been trash talking the IRA into making (nappy) rash transfers, hoping to 'bump' Casimir from the Play Offs. This seasons performance won't be the only thing giving him sleepless nights. (This pundit really is milking it.) Meanwhile the IRA are on holiday - but will it be Galway or Goal-day?

Toby....Toby, Toby...Toby, Toby... Toby, Toby, Murphy!

Beasts.

Finally.... Philly Gets to do The Predictions

After Mike Hardy tried to spoil everything that was fun about The Draft and our weekly predictions, I decided to pull the plug on this blog. I was happy to let the season run its course with the Welsh Galactico's winning the Golden Boot and choking in the playoffs, The Wasps marking their debut season with the DC Cup and The IRA taking the LoserBowl...

It had to take something monumental to change my mind.... How about Philly Lisk scoring the most points in a week??!! That'll do it....

So here we go.... Welcome to The Draft Philip Lisk, Master of Science...

Predatory Wasps  v  The Lovely Lamelas

Tough match to call, Lukaku FC vs a rejuvenated Lamelas side that have almost fought their way back into contention for a playoff place incredibly. Lamelas to win.

Belfast Benfica  v  Van Gaal’s Gals

It pains me to say it but two of the most out of form sides in the league. A misfiring Ighalo has cost Pedro in the last few weeks and he’s close to slipping out of the playoff places remarkably. But as VGG’s luck would have it I guarantee Sturridge and Ighalo come up with the goods this weekend. Benfica for the win…..Dat midfield though…..

FC Casimir v Welsh Galacticos

Could the transfer of Kane and Sigurdson come back to haunt the Galacticos? In the words of Apu…..WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! It won’t likely have any impact on his placing however with 1^st all but wrapped up. Gonna have to go with FC Casimir for this one, Aguero to score 20 past villa.

The team formerly known as Mike hardy v Crouchy’s Nachos

Mike Hardy’s team have changed their name so often I’ve forgotten what his original name was to begin with. The Nachos haven’t recovered since losing their main man de Bruyne at a crucial time of the season and with First pick Cech out for a month now I’ll have to go Kilkeel for this one.

Cuclhie Blues  v  AVbeasts 2nds 

All to play for here in this battle for the last playoff position. Two sides full of point scorers with the likes of Payet, Mata, Costa and to a lesser extent Hazard all in form. When did you draft the entire Chelsea team Tony? Gotta go AVBeasts here just have too much strength in depth.

Real IRA v Kamikaze Pigeons 

What can you say about Real IRA……tumbleweed…....? Never thought I would be rooting for anything affiliated with the IRA but I can’t help but feel they deserve a win. The pigeons are guaranteed a playoff place and with their manager off on honeymoon I feel he might let his team slip this week. Real IRA for the win.

Gameweek 12 Predicitons

After a slow start, waiting for the close of the transfer window to bolster his squad, Dave Blair's team have been on fire! He's had a few near misses but he finally gets the chance to predict the outcome of Gameweek 12....

Welsh Galacticos vs Belfast Benfica

Tied at the top, you'd expect a typically cagey affair. Benfica have started well but this is a marathon not a sprint and our Commish has a team well equipped to nudge ahead. Galacticos

Mystic Murph: I'll be praying for a BELFICA win! Fuck you Mahrez and Varrrdddeeeeeyy.

Van Gaal's Gaals vs Predatory Wasps

VGG's desperation in the transfer market was almost as humiliating as their blatant influencing of the admin in GW10. On the pitch it's a wonder they've picked up as many wins as they have with 'dat midfield', an obvious weakness to even the most casual observers. Barring another Pantomime (it's behind you) performance by Pantilimon in goal, Wasps will take the Gaal's to the cleaners. Wasps

Mystic Murph: I have to disagree with Dave again... there's only one Philly Lisk

AV Beasts 2s vs Lisk's Midfield Magicians

The expected return of Bentekkers will give Mike Hardy's men more beast than AVB 2's can handle. Magicians

Mystic Murph: bortaS bIr jablu'DI', reH QaQqu' nay'...... Beasts

Réal IRA vs The Lovely Lamelas

Lamelas have Réal in their sights in this potential six pointer. Neither side are blessed points machine in attack with the possible exceotion of Troy ' Watford's MVP' Deeney leading the line for Real. REAL IRA

Mystic Murph: With Spurs playing Arsenal this week, you have to fancy the RA.

Crouchy's Nachos vs FC Casimir

Firstly, my congratulations to the good Dr. himself, massively well done!

But back to matters at hand, Dr Casimir edged a low scoring nail biter in GW1 by a single point, but since then the Nachos (now without Crouchy) have been transformed, winning four of their last six, and don't intend on settling for mid table mediocrity. NACHOS

MM: McAuleys week is about to turn sour...... Nachos

Kamikaze Pigeons vs Culchie Blues

Another one point thriller back in GW1, Pigeons have strengthened with Otamendi in defence and there's every chance Sanchez is a potential king of the North London derby. Wayne's World looks a little brighter after a midweek goal but it's probably asking too much if Les Bleus are relying on Rooney for the win. PIGEONS

MM: Blues on the slide... Pigeons